I want to walk on stilts...naked
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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