And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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