i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
