You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
