she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
