Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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