I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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