I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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