Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Randomize
