Grow some girl-balls and come out already
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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