Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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