well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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