yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
