Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Do you remember whose house we're in?
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Just puked most of my soul out..
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