Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
