I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
God I need to hump something, right now.
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