Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I deserve this hangover.
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