i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
