we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Holy sore nipples Batman
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
