She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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