I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
