I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
