so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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