I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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