Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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