I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
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