things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine