Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
