i jhust puked up my retainher.
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
