she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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