you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
