That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
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We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
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It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
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