the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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