Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.