You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
These 19 Ladies Love Pegging Their Men
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.