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• (305): View more from Florida

  My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.

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• (302): View more from Delaware

  she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>

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• (419): View more from Ohio

  I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.

  (260): View more from Indiana

  Good luck with that.

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me

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• 

  Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (612): View more from Minnesota

  I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...

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• (253): View more from Washington

  We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.

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• (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.

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• 

  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (619): View more from California

  I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.

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• (334): View more from Alabama

  I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.

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• (414): View more from Wisconsin

  No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.

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• (716): View more from New York

  Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening

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• (865): View more from Tennessee

  I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.

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• (775): View more from Nevada

  I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later

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