if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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