butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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