Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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