Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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