hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
