Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
