i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
