you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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