tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
