and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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