he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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