I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
