Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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