i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
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