Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Randomize
