youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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