What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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