you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
