pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
