hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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