i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Randomize
