Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
